Turn A New Leaf

by Touron

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"Where do I begin...
These songs were written about a year ago. During that time period I was going through things in my life that I didn't believe I'd see myself through. I truly thought they were destined to be the end of me. I ended an abusive 6 year relationship at the age of 21. It was toxic on both ends and I'm sure looking back we both did things we regret. Things that led to our demise. Some time had passed, I was better off, but it all came back to me with the words, "I'm pregnant". I learned that the child was lost in the womb, a stillborn. I didn't go to the hospital that day and I never knew if I'd live that down. I wrote these songs not only to cope with the hurt I was facing myself (the break up / losing a child), but also the hurt those involved dealt with, and my guilt associated with their pain. When the songs were finished I anxiously awaited the recording process. My intentions were to release them, and in the same day, take my life...
I don't know why it took a year after this for us to finally record, but within that year my life changed drastically. No longer do I wish death upon myself. I've had so many new wonderful people come into my life since removing the people who once caused me pain. It would take entirely too long to name you all. All of my dearest friends, you know who you are. If you've been to our shows at Heads Up and/or abroad. If we've even had the smallest conversation in person, or maybe even on the internet. You've made an impact on me and played a crucial role in my existence. I'm still here and I'm grateful to each and every one of you for that. If these words some how found their way in front of you... thank you.
If you take anything away from reading this, let it be that suicide is not the answer. Stay strong and get help if you need it, whether it be professional or just allowing your friends (maybe even strangers) into your situation. You never know what life is gonna throw at you and sometimes it's not all bad. Hopefully as I am able to do, you will look back and realize these trials made you stronger than you ever thought you'd be. And maybe your resilience will pay off for you as it seems to have done for me."
⁃ Andrew


released November 5, 2017



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